Here's to 2010.

2010. Holy. Shit. I was 15 when it 2000 came in, and I remember thinking ten years in a long time, and it kind of is...but it kind of isn't. Most of us view our lives in terms of decades (20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, etc) and the fact that they will just keep on coming is something that you always "know" - you just don't really realize how fast it will.

I learned a lot this past decade, and I suppose that's the way it should have been, as these are considered my defining years. I still feel, though, as I have a lot to learn. Especially when it comes to other people.

Growing up, I was always a loner, and I became used to it. In the last five years, I started becoming more social and developed some great friendships. A lot of the relationships I cultivated, though, reminded me a lot of why I was a loner in the first place. It's funny how life when you're grown up can still simulate life on the playground when you were very young. It's almost as if the same social rules still apply - they're just more complicated, and they tend to hurt more than a mere insult or a push and shove.

On the surface I may seem like I'm really good with people. In my jobs, I usually have to sell things and because I can read people's body laungage and behavior I usually am pretty sucessful at it. I can do the same in social situations - I don't come across a lot of people who don't like me, because I'm just one of those people most people become comfortable around. In a sense, I kind of 'sell' myself - but not because I'm trying to appear something I'm not, or well, I suppose in way it could be that. I'm an introvert. But you don't get to meet a lot of people being an introvert, and I love meeting people. I know how to have a good time, and laugh and have fun.

Sometimes, it becomes very hard to do all that, though.

I'm not really sure what this blog is about. I'm not really sure where I'm going with it or if it even matters. All I know is...I don't think I had something I thought I did. Silly me...when will I learn not to take someone's words as value. A statement that seems to echo throughout my life: Actions Speak Louder Than Words. And it's true. People can tell you something all they want, but if their actions are saying something else then what do those words matter? They are empty. They are useless. You can't do anything with them. They mean nothing.

Does anyone ever say what they mean, anymore? Will I spend the next ten years trying to figure that out, still? I hope not.