The Attachment Detaches

Have you ever met someone and within a few mere moments, minutes, hours...you were completely taken by how connected you felt with them? Like for whatever reason you felt attuned with them and somehow you can relate an entire lifetime of experience with something in their words and in their voice?

I'm not talking about love at first sight or whatever. I'm talking about something else. It goes far beyond sight. It almost feels like a recognition of something great. It's hard to explain because it so rarely happens. I've often thought at very great length if what I'm trying to describe about what feels like is happening, is really happening...or if I'm just romanticizing a fleeting moment of chemical reactions in my brain.

When it all comes down to it, most people want the same thing when it comes to any kind of relationship with another human being. They want to be understood. That's generally what some of the strongest friendships and relationships are made of. You feel at ease in knowing that the person closest to you knows who you are and can understand the way you think and feel. This kind of thing can take a lot of time and work to develop, or for some very few individuals it can become an instantaneous kind of bond between both of you.

I have had this feeling...this strange, unexplained connection to four people in my entire life. One of them became my best friend Alicia. Two out of three of the times, it was obvious that the other person did not feel anything similar. Or if they did at one time, they went on to ignore or forget it. For one of them, I spent quite a long time trying to figure this thing that I felt around them out. Too long, really. I thought perhaps I was deeply in love with him and from the first moment I felt like I knew him and understood something about him that I could see many did not. I was a pretty confused  girl and my actions completely reflected that. In short I didn't know what the hell I was doing or even why I was doing it. I tried to explain it a couple of times while intoxicated and I think I probably scared or freaked him out more than anything. C'est La Vie.

Now it's happened to me again, and it just makes me nervous. At the same time, something in the back of my mind is constantly nagging at me about it. It's not real and don't be an idiot one part of me says, and the other says everything happens for a reason. Don't ignore your feelings.


Most people move on and forget whatever happened yesterday. So detached. Why am I always the one who feels so attached?